The Crossing Blog

Thoughts from the Crossing Team

4 Pillars of a Peacemaker

Are you a peace-breaker, faker, or maker? This question was presented to us this past Sunday (week 3 of Bless This Home sermon series) and I must say, the question was felt by me and everyone else in the room. We've all had moments where we were the ones breaking the peace, or faking the peace, or (hopefully) making the peace. As you have been discussing in your community groups, I'm sure this has remained on your mind.

4 Pillars of a Peacemaker

As a follow up to Sunday's message, I want to offer you 4 pillars of a peacemaker. I believe these 4 things are vital to have in your life if you want to be a peacemaker. 

1. Listens Quickly

James 1:19 says, "...Everyone should be quick to listen..." 

Think about how relevant this is in the context of confrontation and disagreement. It's vital! Yet it's rarely exercised. Since we never do exercise it, it's likely that our listening muscles are barely able to work. So, let's make a plan (just like we would make an exercise plan at the gym) to exercise our listening muscles, especially in contexts that lack peace. 

The next time you are at a friend's house or a family member's house or maybe even at work and the topic of politics come up, be quick to listen. 

The next time there is discord between you and your spouse, be quick to listen. Don't listen just to respond, but listen to understand.

A peacemaker's first pillar is to be quick to listen. Without this, stress reigns supreme and the peacemaker falls. 

2. Angers Slowly

James 1:19 also says, "Everyone should be ...slow to become angry..."

How often do you find yourself becoming angry when discord and confrontation are happening? We all, I'm sure, struggle with this. It's easy to assume the worst of people's intentions, but instead, we must slow our roll toward anger. 

If we're quick to listen, we should also be slow to become angry. The only way to bring about real peace in any situation is to remain level headed and to approach the confrontation without anger boiling up.

If you always seem to become angry, begin to pay attention to what your pressure points are and then bring those to the throne of Christ. Ask Him to take them away and then trust that He will. 

Then the next time you feel those pressure points being pressed down, follow Jesus - He said we should deny ourselves daily and follow Him. What better way to deny ourselves than to also deny our anger?!

3. Leads with Love

A peacemaker approaches situations that lack peace with love at the forefront. They lead with love. They don't lead with condemnation, but they go forward, addressing discord with gloves of love on each hand. 

We are all called to love everyone. If this is the case, why do we so often times lead with anything BUT love? Well, we forget that we are called to be peacemakers instead of peace-breakers and fakers. 

True love confronts. But it confronts in a way that is concerned more about the person than about the issue. Don't miss that. It's huge!

True love confronts in a way that is concerned more about the person than about the issue.

Sorry, I felt I needed to hear that again.

If you want to make peace in a situation that lacks peace, lead with love!

4. Pursues Mutual Understanding

Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

A fleeting pursuit is to try and get everyone to agree with each other. Rather, pursue mutual understanding. There were many times where the disciples of Jesus - His closest followers, disagreed on matters, especially as the Church began to take shape and they were facing real issues.

If we are to be peacemakers, we are going to have to pursue mutual understanding. We must be able to see where the person that is causing discord is coming from. What is their real issue? How can we answer their concerns? How can we pursue unity even if agreement won't be attained?

Peacemakers aren't agreement-makers. There's a big difference. Peace can occur even in the midst of disagreement. The question becomes, which is more? The peace between the people or the disagreement on the issue?


How will you make peace in stressful situations this week and going forward? After all, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

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